Vision in the Darkness

When the darkness tries to get me, there’s a light that just won’t let me.

- “Stand Back Up” by Sugarland

I am terrified of Winter

It is just that simple. Winter brings the darkness from which I am continually running. Last year the combination of Seasonal Affective Disorder and Depression made those months agonizingly painful. I was sucked down so low that I remember a moment shortly before Christmas where I was driving home and thinking, “I know why people commit suicide.” Now don’t worry I wasn’t suicidal, but I recognized that if I had nothing to hope for beyond seemingly endless mental suffering it was a possibility.  My theory has become that if I keep in mind what I want to do when I am well, it will be easier to keep holding on.

So despite radical improvements this summer, I am anxious about what the coming months will hold. I feel well enough that I want to commit myself to various activities through out the year but am worried that in a couple months I’ll have to pull out in an attempt to preserve my sanity.

My Vision

I am seeking to make my vision a very prominent part of my life in the hopes of providing one support to get me through. My plan now that I am gathering a multitude of recipe cards is to put them in an album that stays standing and easily flips pages. This should minimize the  number of lost cards and make for a much tidier look!! As suggested by The Success Principles I am going to be reading my purpose and vision cards every morning as I start the day.

So as the days get increasingly darker, I will hold fast to Christ and to the plans I have for the seasons to come.

Stand Back Up by Sugarland is for me an fight for another day anthem.

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